A 1976 history of Pickering, Missouri, notes that everyone there gives directions using a cottonwood tree south of Pickering at the intersection of County Route OO/192nd Street and Missouri Highway 148. The tree was cut down in 1975. The article incorrectly refers to County Route M (the road is in the southern part of the county near Barnard).
Maryville Forum January 29, 1976:
The tree was about 27 feet in circumference. The story goes that four cottonwood trees were planted at the four corners around 1876 by Robert Coleman, James Pistole, E.C. “Fat” Moberly, and Peter Behrn. The last tree was cut down in 1975.
Here are a few AI jokes and funny directions for traveling from Pickering to a “tall cottonwood tree,” using local context and tree-based puns. For the record Pickering in 2020 had a population of 142.
The “Big Cottonwood” Directions
1. The “Only Landmark” Route
“Take Route 148 North out of Maryville. Once you pass a town so small that the ‘City Limit’ sign is painted on a fence post, look for the cottonwood tree that’s tall enough to scratch the belly of airplanes. If you hit Iowa, you’ve gone too far and probably passed it.”
2. The “Hard to Miss” Route
“Drive to the center of Pickering. Look up. No, higher. Higher. See that tree that looks like it’s holding up the clouds? Turn left right before you fall over backward looking at it.”
3. The “GPS” Route
“If you ask Siri for directions in Pickering, she just says ‘Head towards the giant cottonwood’ and then sighs. It’s the tree that drops so much cotton in June it looks like a blizzard in the middle of a Missouri summer.”
4. The “River” Route
“Go to the One Hundred and Two River east of town. Find the tallest tree along the bank. If it looks like it’s branching out to steal your lunch, you’ve found the right spot.”
5. The “Local” Recommendation
“Ask at the Methodist Church on Church Street. They’ll tell you to head towards the old timberline. When you see a tree that makes the local oak trees look like shrubs, take a right.”
Jokes Included in the Narrative
- The “Cotton” Claim: “Be careful, the cotton from that tree is so thick, you’ll think you can harvest it to make a new shirt—but the only thing you’ll harvest is a clogged air conditioner” (Based on Reddit cottonwood threads).
- The “Too Tall” Pun: “That cottonwood is so tall, it doesn’t just ‘branch out’—it branches up to chat with satellites.”
- The “Poplar” Joke: “Why did that specific Cottonwood get hired to be a traffic light? Because it was the most poplar tree in Nodaway County!”
The “Directions” Jokes.
- “To get to the tall cottonwood from Pickering, take Highway 148 South until you feel like you’ve left civilization, then keep going until the air smells like a laundry detergent commercial.”
- “From Pickering, take 148 South. When you see the giant tree that looks like it’s having a bad hair day in June, you’ve found it.”
- “How do you find the tall cottonwood tree in Pickering? Follow the white fluff in the air. It’s the only GPS that works in the Nodaway countryside.”
One-Liners & Puns
- “I tried to get directions to that huge cottonwood tree, but the guy told me I was barking up the wrong tree.”
- “That cottonwood is so tall, it doesn’t give shade, it gives timezones.”
- “Why did the tree surgeon move to Pickering? He wanted to reach the poplar areas.”
- “I asked for the fastest route to the tree. They told me to branch out and take a different road.”
- “Finding that cottonwood is easy; it’s the one acting like a big shot.”
“June Snow” Jokes
- “The best time to visit that giant cottonwood in Pickering is June, when the tree decided it wanted to be a ski resort.”
- Directions: Go where the weather app says it’s 100 degrees, but the ground looks like it’s snowing. That’s your tree.”
Contextual note: Eastern Cottonwoods are large trees (up to 98 feet+), often found near water. They release fluffy seeds in early summer that look like snow.